50 / 50 days

I don’t know how to use the new knowledge that my lower part of the bed actually feels great when I use it as my upper side. Never mind.
At times we get days and we don’t know how to describe them. Today coding fucked me over and I literary feel like shit. But then other good things happened. No appreciating them seems queer in a lot of ways.
So, comes my lesson. One I kinda always knew but needed to be put in my face again today. Things are not as bad as you think and there is always a bright side. Just take care to look for that spark in your day and focus your energy on the good things.
Ok, now see ya.

#GoodGuy, #People

What we should all learn from Eminem

I like talking about Eminem, that is the man, the music and of course what he represents in my head. Whenever I tell someone that my role models are Em then Bill gates, they give me a face. Probably because of how those two are distinct in a lot of ways. They try comprehending it when I say that I love hip hop and tech, and that’s the stuff I’m surrounded by 24/7. A reason I won’t have some political figure inspiring me.

I like Bill gates for an ability to build and empire and future for many, but this isn’t about him.

Now Eminem, most people look at the music and think of the violence in the lyrics. That is like eating but not getting the taste quite well. Here’s how I look at it, it’s at times serious and other times funny. But even the funny is serious.

To me a song is way past the lyrics. Its the entire emotion of each word and each segment of the beat. When a song like rock bottom is on, I get inspired off the hunger in the lyrics and voice. And for anyone who has ever had a bad day, should be able to relate.

But what about a song like kings never die? That is really talking about cementing ones position and never going down. The whole gist in the song for me is working hard no matter your current position and beating your OWN competition. Making better and bettering your best.
Then the funny ones, I go with sense of humor.   Even someone with half a brain should be able to laugh at those. You know comedians make fun of gays, women, war, government and even disease. Someone with a sense of humor should love that.

All in all, inspiration is gotten from each and everything around us. If you can find some, its really great. If not keep going, after all inspiration is about that. And blogging on a phone is hell. Next I should talk about monkeys. Lemme first download a documentary.

Is there any research about why cockroaches love darkness?


The struggle of being ‘the strong one ‘

Usually in any setting, there is that person that is held in regard as strong and resilient and possessing of good virtues. Whether its with friends or family. This only breeds more of itself and before you know it, you are the little rock of your peers and folk. It’s a great thing but in an other sense it’s bad.

When you always have this great advice for others and no one gives that same advice right back when it could help. It is actually no one’s fault but you hurt in the end and that is what counts when you can sleep or eat.

Your peers and folks become blinded by your perceived ‘strength’ and never even notice you sinking into a bad place. They learn to not worry about you. Not because they care any less, but because they are just blind to it all.

So, just like that its horrible being strong. I hate it. I hate not being able to cry and be vulnerable. I hate not having other people give me hope, that are as many as I try to give hope. I hate not bursting out and rolling in the ground. And letting my tears drench my shirt.
Being strong is bad, besides you giving strength to others, you just get drained.

In a deep and dark retrospect, I think its fine putting your self first and deceitful as it maybe, let other people take care of you.


Where you always wanna go.

At times you want to be some where every other time. In a given space and time that you once were. Nothing to do with the place. Everything to do with who makes for that time you flash back to every time.
Things happen and change us and everything about us. And after you have gotten your ass out of your behind, you realise how stupid you are. This is not as bad as some ‘I regret this and that shit ‘, and its not some weird shit too. Its as normal as missing a really dear friend. Someone you talk to and laugh with till you forget how fast time is going on.

You probably know of such a person in your own way or you don’t, but its great and worth life.
A good movie, funny thing and about anything reminds me. It sucks when you get caught in the fog and miss the real rain.
Inside I want to just say the names and exact time but how would that be helpful to anyone but me. Besides, I’m not the lay your shit in public kind of person.
I once read that life is the smaller pieces of the puzzle, and now those small things remind you of more small things you didn’t think would come back to mind.

#GoodGuy, #People

5 little secrets about happiness

We all know what happiness means. We understand it different but the uniform ingredient we all know is feeling good.
Be it laughing with your friends or meeting up that old friend from years ago or love? Happiness is about feeling good. Much as we never really chase happiness, we chase things we think can bring about it, and this is wrong since happiness from within can bring more of itself yet its hard to get from outside of ourselves.
1. Gratitude.
When we appreciate what we already have, its puts us in a great mental state of satisfaction. What things are you taking for granted?
2. Meditation.
Meditation is not about you being in a quiet place, it’s about you quieting yourself to listen to your most inner self. Have a moment and pause the world, so that you can get more of yourself to listen to.
3. Positivity.
Positivity is about you being and staying positive. Even in the worst of your situation there is a bright side. Positivity is also about keeping negativity as far as possible and sadly that means avoiding negatively oriented thinkers.
4. Loving oneself.
This doesn’t mean selfishness or cruelty, it’s appreciating of oneself. Self esteem is great, because it leads to purpose and satisfaction. When you have high self esteem, you are able to take charge of your own happiness.
5. Believing.
This has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with you and your mind. Believe that better things are coming and don’t second guess yourself. You get what you ask for and this asking is about what you are believing. ” what we are is a result of what we have thought”. Why not think yourself into more happiness.

#GoodGuy, #random

Poetry of boredom

Hey, so this is the poetry I do in my head when I’m all bored. Honestly it rarely makes sense. So it a sentence that start with the last word or phrase or synonym of the previous sentence. Okay here we go.

At times I like myself, other times I don’t.
Don’t like myself for feeling lazy.
Feeling lazy and actually being lazy and procrastinating.
Pushing forward what I ought to do and move to the next.
The next part of the big deal, of the future.
Tomorrow builds on today, but what happens when I waste today?
Do less or nothing for the day as I pile up on tomorrow’s burden.
I kills me to know that I’m deliberately heaping up to an elephant of work.
Work on an elephant is done in smaller chunks.
Smaller doable chunks for each and everyday.
Everyday , not every few days or once in a while.
While I’m going through this, I still like myself for a few things.
Things like being daring, grateful and open minded.
I’m open to new ideas,  learning and experiences.
Experiences of how good life can be if we let it.
If we let life amaze us instead of scare us.
Scare us with things that don’t really count like opinions.
Opinions count only to their holder, and everyone has one.
One man one opinion.
One opinion that counts only for one man.
Man, in my opinion is the leader of the planet and all the other creations.
Other creations enjoy life even more than man, because we think we can rule fellow man.
Ruling a fellow man doesn’t make sense.
How sensible is respecting the environment when we mistreat fellow man. Man, that is a messed up thing to do.
Do you know what’s funny is that it’s all a damn opinion.


Compromising the you within

Its August, how time flies by. There is something about being ourselves that we miss out on very once in a while. At times our own selves are compromised and we need to have that back. Initially, I think t all begins with our perceptions f various things that we are surrounded with. Thus one can never fully comprehend some one else’s decision or thought process. This is why you can never fully assert the intensity of an intention by some one else.
For an exampled, I have this thing about minding only the important business in my midst. I honestly don’t want the details of my neighbor guy’s relationships or work feud and that kind of stuff. Not because I’m some kind of saddist who hates people, just because I don’t want for them to know details of my life. I exclusively hate it when my neighbor knows about my plans for next month. My dad doesn’t know about it, even.
In comparison, my dad is way more important than my damn neighbors. So why should they know anything that won’t benefit me for them to know? Or more subtly themselves.
You see people are morons, and that goes for all people. They will think they know you enough just because they know a fuzzy bit about you. For some reason, I hate it. I personally don’t believe in masses, I prefer real quality people in my circles.
Its fucking insane when some one in an outer circle tries to pile someone extra in yo circle. It reminds you of why you do a small circle of friends.
I’m totally ranting, makes me realise how I have greatly under appreciated my inner most circle and own self.